Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Vocabulary lesson on the value of friendship... or maybe the lack of?!?

I have gotten behind on my blog due to high stress and busy weeks.  I am struggling but I am determined to keep up better.

The following is something I wrote a while back but never had a chance to post. Enjoy!

adj.: 1. a: marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy, or stability b: given to erratic changeableness

noun: 1. a: Definition of TRUST
assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed
           2. a: dependence on something future or contingent : hope

noun  Definition of FRIEND
1. a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance

My husband, being a police officer, is naturally distrusting of people.  Someone has to earn his trust and even then… he is never blindsided by how fickle and cruel people can be. He is pretty good at reading people from the get-go, so most people just don’t surprise him. With me, I trust too easily most of the time and people have always had to hurt me for me to see they were never worthy of my trust. Then I get upset and beat myself up over the fact that I was stupid enough to put my trust in them at all.  Where is the happy medium? How do you prepare your children to deal with this world, especially this mean and nasty one they are living in, making them cautious without making them completely distrusting?  I know if I was not as trusting as I am, I may not have the lasting friendships I have.  I have been blessed to have many great friends over the years with a few constant, reliable, "accept me as I am" friendships. These people have never questioned my crazy self and they love me... despite ME!  These are the people I am comfortable around, because I never have to worry about just being myself with them. I know there are many types of friendships you have throughout your life. Some dwindle away.  Some are not meant to last, even if they touch your life for a moment and make a difference in it. Some are just toxic and the best thing is for them to be over. Some are better in small doses.  Some last a lifetime and become a part of you.  I can honestly tell you, that as I look around, many people these days do not value any type friendship the way that they should.  I hurt for my children as I see them grow up in a world that does not honor friendship and loyalty… only the “right here, right now, I will just discard someone from yesterday for someone else today” kind of friendships. Someone with teenage children told my best friend and me the other day, "There are no friendships like yours anymore."  How sad is that?  I know I cannot spare my children the hurt that people will cause them. As a Christian, I want them to be trusting, Godly people, but as a mom, I don’t want to see them get hurt either. I am very thankful that my daughter seems to handle these situations better than her mom.  The mama tiger in me wants to scratch someone’s eyes out when they are mean to her but she just shrugs her shoulders and says, “Oh well, they were not deserving of my friendship anyway.” I was always impacted when someone was mean to me (still am) and I am glad she handles it better than I ever did.  She is very forgiving, but like me she keeps her guard up a little with someone after they have hurt her.  I know that all of the friends my kids make are not going to be and are not meant to be lifelong friends. But still, I pray daily that God will bring people into their lives that they can form a bond with, people who will love them for who they are and never expect them to be anything other than themselves. I also pray that the other ones will only make them stronger and help them to understand the hurt that you can cause someone.  I am proud of my children for loving who they are and being comfortable with themselves.  As has become my constant chant as of late, I do not require my children to fit inside a box, therefore they do not expect others to fit in the box of what most in our society deem as normal.  What is normal really?  hmmm... sounds like a good topic for my next post.  Stay tuned!