Friday, December 17, 2010


We walk through our lives thinking things just cannot ever happen to us.  We put our trust and hopes in those we love and although we know the risks, we do it anyway.  Yet, we are still surprised when those people betray that trust or we are blindsided when those people are taken from us somehow, someway.  We look at people when bad things happen to them, and we think, “Well, that can’t happen to my life.”  How wrong we all are.  Not one of us is immune.  No matter our walk in life, where we live, what religion we are, how much money we have… bad things happen.  Things you can never see coming.  And they will knock you down to your knees.  They will shatter you, leave you broken, almost destroyed and gasping for air.  The enemy is lurking out there.  He is deceitful, he is manipulative, he is evil, and he comes in all shapes and forms.  Each and every day, people find themselves trapped in the web of lies he weaves or he uses selfish people to rip someone from our lives.  When you are on the receiving end of this hurt, it is easy to want to lash out. To break those who have broken us or to make someone feel the hurt you do.  It is a very real, very human emotion.  Not a Godly one, by any means, but it is a human reaction you cannot help but feel.  There are many stages of the pain that you go through.  You go from crying, to screaming, to sobbing, to yelling, to crying, to throwing things, and back to sobbing… all in a matter of minutes.  You are ok for a while and then it comes back again.  What is left of your heart breaks a little more and the cycle begins again.  You wonder when you will wake up from this nightmare that has taken over your life.  You know God is there, you feel His presence as you cry out to Him for help.  You beg Him to stop the pain, to make it all go away.  You beg for answers and for peace.  You know that somehow, someway He will get you through this, even as the heartbreak seizes your body with agony time and time again.  You can see Him in the faces of your children as they make you smile, even though you thought you would never smile again.  You hear Him in their voices as they tell you how much they love you.  You realize by the outpouring of love and support from so many that He is there and He will not leave you to deal with this on your own. 
I had a friend ask in a post if your heart ever scars enough that there is no room for anymore scars.  Sadly, a heart can continue to beat with every inch bound in scars. Pain is an inevitable part of our lives in this sinful world we live in.  It pulls us to the brink of insanity, it makes us want to curl up and die.  But it also gives us strength, it gives us courage, it gives us the testimony of our Faith in a loving Lord and Savior who can bring us through anything, it helps us find forgiveness for those who cause us pain, and even helps us to go on with our lives without someone we love.  I have had much pain in my own life. Much too numerous to name here, that is for sure.  It is my wish that none of you ever experience the pain of any type of heartbreak or loss, but I know that nothing can spare any one of us from it while we are in this life.  So, my prayer for each of you is that God uses your pain in a way that glorifies Him… even if you feel every human emotion there is through it.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46: 1-3

P.S.  I am reminded of feeling many of the feelings I have described above, nine years ago, when I lost a good friend who was taken way too soon from this world.  As I am now thrown back into these feelings, I would give anything if he were here to listen.